Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
