my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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