Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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