I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
