i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I touched a dick in church today
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
