I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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