i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize