if you like me you must not know who I am
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
