What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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