I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
