Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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