Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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