I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
