And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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