Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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