dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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