google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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