pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
