Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
