Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
