I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
