I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize