We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
