He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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