the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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