i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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