We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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