I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
