If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
