I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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