There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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