I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
