and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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