im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
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I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
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I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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