I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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