no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
