If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
