I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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