You made me cry and you don't even care
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
