i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
