Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize