How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
