i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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