How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
