i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
