How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
