Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
