You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You were trust falling into bushes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
