Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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