I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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