Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
