i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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