I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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