Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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