I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
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Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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