just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
